My Bridge of Silver Wings
by Paulathe Cat
Summary: Continuing story of Castiel and Dean from my AU Destiel- A Window is a Mirror . Castiel is still figuring out what his life will be like in the future as he makes his way through school. He and Dean need to figure out where they fit in each other's lives. I update more quickly on my AO3 account of the same pen name.
1. Chapter 1

**My Bridge of Silver Wings**

**A/N**: This will be the only REALLY LONG A/N…

Well, I have started this new one. This is a sequel to **The Window is a Mirror**, where Castiel and Dean have been friends for many years and they declared their feeling for one another after Cas returned from his first few months of living away at school. If you hadn't read the other story, I hope I make this chapter with enough expository to catch you up, but this is an AU so you might like to read that first.

I was honestly so surprised by the response to this AU. I appreciate all the fans that followed and alerted because of it. I will post The Window is a Mirror on my Deviant Art page (Same as my pen name). You will find my other Destiel fic there as well if you are so inclined. The FFN policy about smut makes me worry that one or both will be torn down, so if it is missing at any point, you can find me there.

**Kudos**: Below is NOT an exhaustive list…

Thanks for the author alerts, story alerts and favs (maddie-babz1993, Meriadeth 'You know I love ya, babe!', Caspala, arghthecat, DeanW'sgirl92, rileygar25, TakeshiSempai, precious1075, SupernaturalSweetheart, Midnight Blue Angel 24, tara2217, halle mcready, MakingFanGirlsScream, hanna-chan1, OonaSama95, SculderPhile1013, MiracleWhipped, Acid Pink Lemonade, jst9m9n, SookieSai, Appleblom, Ceruleaneyes137, fluffybunny39 (for your interest in **Trickster Correspondence**), ap5148 (for your interest and review of **Upon My Knees Do I Repent**, as well), Drarry-DestielLover, jezabelnhell). In case you're lurking, thank you to April-Witch20 for your interest in **Random Acts**. It was one of my favorites to write! And to Potato Fairy, thanks for your review of **Trickster Correspondence**. I was unable to send a little note to you.

Juniperwing, Ceruleaneyes137, Ventorum , shellydiann, Meriadeth, RosesandThorns666, _Anonymous_, tara2217, arghthecat, and hanna-chan1 sent a lovely reviews. Thank you for your continued support! I love you guys. Precious1075 and lil joker 1989, thank you for your wonderful PM showing your support! I appreciate it!

And thanks to PixiePlays and GeekGirl for making my obsession so much fun!

_Chapter One_

"A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare  
to the jeweled vision of a life started anew."  
― Aberjhani, _The River of Winged Dreams_

The seconds on the classroom clock were ticking by slowly, but Castiel glanced up every few moments to assure himself he still had time. His Statistics class had been the hardest of his Spring courses. He had studied so hard for this final but he found it difficult to remain on task. Every time his mind began to wander to plans he had made for "this time next week", he would spend minutes daydreaming again. His pencil scribbled through the next equation and he checked his answer before bubbling in on the Scantron sheet. His eyes scanned down the sheet to make sure he hadn't forgotten or mis-bubbled any. He checked through his test booklet to make sure he put the right answers on the sheet. He looked up again and saw he still had twenty minutes. He glanced around the room to see the heads of his classmates still bowed over their papers. He became nervous that he had finished so quickly. He re-checked his sheets but saw the answers remained as he had originally expected, so he rose and proceeded to the front of the room. His elderly Statistics professor greeted him with a smile and nodded as he placed his answer sheet and test booklet on the desk. He quietly let himself out of the room.

Joey found him in the Cafeteria, sitting at a table with his Stats book opened up. He looked over Cas' shoulder at the notes strewn in front of his friend.

"Didn't you have your final this morning for Stats?"

Cas nodded. "Yeah, but I finished so quickly… I just want to see if I missed something."

Joey nodded and chuckled as he sat next to him. "What other finals do you have?"

Cas glanced up at the question and looked at his friend with a smile. "PE, Psych and English."

"So all the fun classes," Joey said with a smirk to which Cas nodded with enthusiasm.

"I can't believe they let you take more than Full time course load." Joey said as he took a bite of the fries he had bought.

Cas began loading his Stats book and notes away into his bag. "Mike vouched for me."

"Of course. You're gonna wear yourself out, you keep doing that."

Cas looked at his friend. "It's summer next week. I have three months to recuperate."

Joey narrowed his eyes and his grin grew large. "I don't know how much rest you'll get with Dean around."

Cas blushed and his face took on a dreamy expression, his smile lopsided and his eyes distant and glassy. Joey laughed but said nothing. He knew he had lost Cas' attention for a while. He finished eating his food in silence. Cas twisted his ring around his finger and stared at the clasped hands over the crowned heart with loving attention. He thought about maybe buying one for Dean for Christmas.

"When is your man coming to get you?" Joey asked when he noticed Cas come out of his reverie.

"Uh, Monday… I still have to pack and he has to work this weekend." Cas reached over and snatched several fries from Joey's basket.

"Have you thought any more about the second language thing?" Joey asked.

Cas nodded as he tried to speak around the food in his mouth. "Mike says that Middle Eastern and Eastern European languages are really in high demand for government jobs… It might open doors for me that might otherwise have remained closed…"

Joey rolled his eyes. "When you're not telling me all about what Dean thinks or what Dean says, it's all about Mike." Joey pouted. "Just tell me that they get tired of hearing my name when you're with them…"

Cas' eyes glimmered with mischief. "Dean does."

This made Joey beam in delight. He pushed the near-empty basket of fries to Cas. "I have a final. Catch you later, okay?" He leaned over and kissed Cas on his temple and left the building.

.

The book in front of him might as well have been written in Klingon. Psychology was the only final Castiel worried about since he finished with Stats and the theorists and researchers he needed to know were all running together. He wasn't sure he would be able to remember.

"Turn the light off, Cas." Luke rolled over and shielded his eyes from the desk lamp. "It's nearly two in the morning and I gotta be up early."

"Sorry, Luke," he murmured to his roommate as he extinguished the light. He walked over in the dark and laid himself out on the twin bed. Before long, his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

His dreams were fragmented and twisted. They were a Burtonesque mixture of his anxieties about school and memories of the last six months. He explained to the judge that he had to leave because he had a final to take while Dean stood watching him from the gallery. Dean shook his head and the men who were on trial for assaulting them over Winter Break danced around Dean in black suit jackets over blue coveralls. Cas ran to the door and yanked it open to find the novice MMA class among rows and rows of bookcases. The students were using long staves to knock books off the shelves onto his head as he navigated through the maze. Some of the assailants lunged at him with knives while he ducked and rolled out of the way. Dean appeared in the doorway at the far side of the classroom. He pushed through the clawing hands to just miss Dean slipping into the next room through the wide double doors. The lecture hall was quiet, but every seat was filled with the faces of the men who beat them. They all turned their gaze onto Cas as he entered the hall. John Winchester stood at the podium at the front of the room with his hands on Dean's shoulders. They were smiling at each other.

"Tell him the good news." John told Dean.

Dean turned to face Cas and opened his mouth to speak. Cas strained to hear him, but no matter that he could see Dean's mouth moving, it was as though he was miming in a silent film. He asked Dean to speak up, to repeat what he said because he couldn't hear. Dean shook his head, his eyes that usually sparkled with love, grew dim and sad. He ran to the opposite side of the hall to a door marked with an 'EXIT' sign and Cas followed. He pushed it open to see his classmates standing from their seats and move to the front of the class. His professor, Ms. Reyes turned to him.

"I'm afraid you're too late, Mr. Collins. The test is over."

He stood in the middle of the room as the last of his classmates and his professor filed out. The lights that were bright upon his entering were dimming and the classroom darkened and morphed to a parking lot. There were shapes and sounds ahead and he moved toward them. Suddenly, huge halogen lights shone in his eyes, blinding him. He lifted his arm to shield himself from the bright light and he could feel the heat from the tow truck's engine on his skin. He could smell the exhaust from the diesel fuel burning. He began backing away, shaking his head. He felt his back bump into something warm and firm. He turned around to see…

Dean.

They were in his room at the apartment. Music was playing through the speakers of his out-of-date stereo. He lifted his hands to Cas' shoulder and they were both suddenly bare. Dean pulled Cas to him and he felt the toned flesh of Dean's chest against his own. He moaned in his contentment and arousal at the skin on skin contact. He wrapped his arms around Dean in a tight embrace. Cas could feel Dean's breath on his neck, smell the sugary fragrance of sweets baking, the scents of the garage lingering on his skin, and the musk of sex in the room. Dean pressed his mouth against Cas' neck and flicked his tongue across a small patch under his ear. Cas closed his eyes as he melted under Dean's ministrations. He was pulled to the side of the bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dean asked. "Don't you have more work to do?"

Cas nodded and he sat down on the bed, maneuvering up to the headboard and pulled Dean along with him. Dean began to crawl up Cas' body, nipping and kissing as he moved. Cas threw his head back in delight at the touches of lips to his hot skin.

"Yes…" Cas whispered in his desperation.

Dean smirked against his stomach and his eyes were trained on Cas' contorted smile of ecstasy. Every time he went into Dean's bed, it was like he had found Nirvana. He loved the way the sheets felt against his back, how their bodies slid together, how Dean's mouth and lips lit his body on fire. He loved the way he noticed every scent and sound as they moved. He loved the wet of perspiration on their skin and the feel of completion when they both climaxed together. He was writhing on the bed, moaning Dean's name, waiting for him to take him.

"Oh, my God, Castiel! Shut the fuck up!" Luke's voice broke the dream and pulled him into wakefulness.

He felt something soft collide with the side of his head. He blinked the sleep away as the morning sunlight streamed through their window. He pulled the wadded up shirt from his face and looked over at his roommate, who in turn glowered angrily at him.

"Sorry, Luke." Castiel's contrite whisper responded.

Luke managed to soften his demeanor slightly as he rose from his bed. "Don't worry about it. Just a few more days and you can start keeping _him_ awake instead of me."

Luke grabbed his bathroom kit and walked out the door. Cas looked down at himself as he pulled into a sitting position and groaned. _Crap_, he thought. _ I just cleaned these sheets, too. _He got up and began stripping his bed and cleaning himself off. He knew Luke would take his time in the bathroom. He always did. He grabbed his own kit once his room was straightened out and headed to the communal bathroom for his shower.

Later that day, he finished his English final and headed for one of the smaller rooms where Martial Arts classes were held. He walked in to see both his instructor, Mike, and his business partner, Riley speaking to a well-dressed Filipino man in a business suit. It looked like the conversation was concluding as he entered since the nice looking man bid his farewell and let himself out. Castiel greeted them with a wave. He was called over to them when they saw him.

"Castiel, what are you doing this summer… what are your plans?" Mike launched in as soon as he was close enough.

Cas looked at him somewhat poleaxed. "I don't… why?"

Riley's amber eyes sparkled with glee. "We want to put together a new curriculum for next year and we have an amazing opportunity to have a Kali Chief teach some of our more promising students. We want to send you. You come back from the summer and we can give you an on-campus job as Assistant Instructor. We can only send three and it's close to your hometown."

This _was_ an exciting opportunity. He hadn't made any hard plans for the summer and he could be learning while Dean worked. It could be so good. He was nodding in agreement even as the words that came from his mouth were careful and measured. "I'll think about it, okay?"

Both men took that as a 'yes' and launched into an animated discussion with him about their hopes for the exclusively Kali class in the Fall. Later, after his workout with some of the students in the Intermediate class cleared his mind, he had time to reflect on the offer. He wondered why the guys asked him instead of their advanced students. He also felt a stab of ice go through him as he recollected part of his dream from the night before where a room full of men with staves and knives tried to keep him from Dean. He shook his head. He didn't believe in portent dreams.

.

He was at dinner and he was reading for his Psych final. He was sure that he would do well, but he wanted to go over a few points before he left for class. It was bound to be a long night. His phone rang with Metallica riffs.

"Hello, Dean."

"Mmm. Do you know how much I miss you?" Dean spoke in a low welcoming voice.

Cas smiled into the phone and closed his eyes. "Where are you right now?"

"My room…" He could hear the curl of Dean's lips as he smiled around his words.

Cas lowered his voice and looked around him to be sure he wasn't overheard. "I had a dream about you."

"Oh, yeah?" Cas could hear the full-on grin.

"Mmm-hmm…"

"Was it a good dream?"

Cas stopped smiling for a moment but then remembered the rather messy conclusion to his dream. "Parts of it were… I accidentally woke up Luke… and I had to change my sheets."

Dean was laughing at the disclosure. "You're kidding?" He said. "That's so hot! What did Luke do?"

Cas smiled and blushed at his recollection. "He threw a shirt at me."

Dean laughed even harder at that. "I hope you used his shirt to clean up, the douche… What are you wearing?"

Now, Cas was laughing, but he played along. He looked down at his blue jeans and pale blue button up.

"Black boxer briefs and your AC/DC shirt."

Dean hummed his approval. Cas waited but his boyfriend didn't say anything more. Cas could hear the breathing on the other end signifying that Dean was still there.

"I've been thinking about you all day." Cas told him.

"Yeah, me, too. I have a surprise for you when you come home on Monday."

Cas grinned. "For me?"

"Mmm-hmm. All for you."

Cas held the phone tight in his hand and ducked his head. He could feel his cheeks beginning to hurt from grinning so wide. His breath was tight in his chest and he inhaled deeply. "I love you."

"Me, too. See you in a few days, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm."

They both lingered on the line; neither of them willing to disconnect. Cas waited and let his smile grow impossibly bigger. "Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"I have to go to a final in five minutes."

Dean chuckled and exhaled a long breath into the phone. "Better get dressed."

Cas stifled his own laugh. "Ah... I don't know… It's Psych class. We could have a little fun with the deep -rooted psychological needs that led me to arrive to class half naked…"

"Attention seeking…" Dean concluded.

"Maybe it's a cry for help…" Cas offered.

"Maybe it's a physical need more than a psychological need? Do you… need… something, Cas?" Dean purred into his ear.

Cas caught his breath. "Yes…" he exhaled.

"Mmmm."

Cas closed his eyes again and remembered details of his dream. His breathing became more rapid and his grip on his phone nearly painful. He also noticed a certain other part of his body becoming interested in the direction of the conversation.

"Dean…" Cas gasped.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I have to go…"

"So…" Dean responded after a long pause, "Go."

They held on the line.

"Good-bye…"

"Bye…"

Cas reluctantly pulled the phone from his ear and pressed the disconnect button. He sat staring at his phone and not moving, as if the connection between the two was held more strongly than by mere airwaves. Just as he was about to put it back in his bag, it vibrated.

**From: Dean**

**Get dressed and go to class.**

Cas laughed and packed himself up. Before he left the table, he shot off a text to Dean.

**To: Dean**

**Love you. Talk to you 2morrow.**

He smiled as he headed across campus to his class.

.

Early in the morning, Cas went for a run. He liked running before the sun rose. He had one last final and then he could start packing his stuff for home. He thought that maybe he could get in a swim that afternoon, but he'd have to check the schedule for when the pool wasn't being used for classes. He was listening to his iPod and enjoying the crisp morning air cooling his exercise-heated skin. He had plenty of time before his final, and he knew he needed to discuss the summer opportunity with Mike before he could give a solid answer. He also wanted to talk it over with Dean.

That thought brought his mind to how his thinking had changed since December. Here it was, only six months later, and he thought of his decisions in terms of how it would impact his life with Dean. Lord knew his friends were tired of hearing the man's name.

School was both harder and easier in the weeks following Winter Break. It had been easier in that Cas had a new sense of happiness that enabled him to plow through even the hardest lectures with some reserve energy. Castiel found that the sense of happiness at being with Dean could be refreshed with phone calls and weekend visits. Dean had arrived the first weekend back home in January with a tow truck instead of the Impala and returned on weekends he had off to fetch Cas home or spend time with him in the city.

Sometimes, Dean worked at the garage on the weekends and was unable to come get him. Cas didn't find those times inconvenient as he found staying on campus helped him finish his homework without the distraction of his boyfriend so near at hand. He still didn't have his truck back which made college life a little more difficult and he suspected Dean was deliberately stretching out the repairs to keep Cas from driving a potentially unsafe vehicle… of course, he also considered that Dean liked the excuse Cas wouldn't be able to skip coming home if Dean was his ride.

His relationship with friends became a little harder because he insisted on starting any conversation with "Dean says…" or "Dean thinks…" to which Joey tended to go cold with him. They were still close friends but Joey thought Cas was becoming too dependent on his boyfriend. This had caused a lot of trouble between the two friends.

Still, he was eager to be home. He missed his parents, his Aunt Kat and Uncle Oh, Henry. He missed Gabriel's sweets. He missed playing chess with Sam and long nights watching TV or making love to Dean. He had no idea how different his life would be once he declared his love for his best friend. He had no idea things could be so good.

He frowned, then. No, not all good. He remembered the week of recovery that Dean had to endure when they had been jumped outside the movie theater by a bigoted group of men because of their public displays of affection. He remembered the long month of healing. He had spoken at length with Joey and with his friends in the LGBT about that when he returned to school. Most of them had come out much sooner in their lives than Dean and Castiel, so they had already experienced many of the same attitudes the boys were now facing. Cas felt incredibly sheltered and naïve as he listened to the experiences of the others in his group. He even felt fortunate. It could have gone so much worse than it did.

He was rounding a corner into the main street away from the University campus. There were more cars driving to and from city destinations. Commuters on their way to work and others headed in or out of the College Center. He turned his mind to the men who assaulted them. He no longer felt anger or hatred for them. He didn't think he felt fear. But, his stomach still clenched into knots at the memory of the arraignment and trial. It was nothing like what he expected. He had envisioned the men brought shackled into the courtroom. He imagined twelve men and women passing judgment with a surly judge looking down his nose in his disdain of the whole business.

He needed to stop watching court dramas.

The reality couldn't have been further from his imagination. The trial for the attack on them didn't take very long at all. The arraignment took less than an hour, though he had to remain available at the court all day. The men didn't even show up in person but over a television screen on CCTV from the detention center where they were being held. The trial took two days despite their pleas of no contest because there were more than just the two caught at the hospital. No jury. Just a small cluttered courtroom with a judge, a clerk, the prosecutor, the public defender, the arresting officers, John and the boys. The men pled out and were ordered to anger management classes, tolerance training and community service. They were also ordered to pay reparations, but the lawyers confided that they may never see any of that money since the men had no property and worked construction under the table.

Cas continued to run along the busy thoroughfare. His mind was emptying of the disturbing images as he approached the wooded park where he went when he needed to be away from the campus. He loved living on campus. He was able to access the library at all hours without worrying about the drive home. He could literally roll out of bed and be to class within fifteen minutes. He ate at the cafeteria most days, but he was within walking distance from a grocery store if he felt like cooking. They had a communal kitchen where he could prepare food, should he choose to, and most of the activities in which he participated were on campus. The downfall to living on campus is you were always there. That was one of the reasons he wanted his truck returned. He needed to be able to leave when it just got too claustrophobic for him. He would bring his books here and study under a tree, well off the paved path. Sometimes, it felt like he was far away from civilization… away from people.

The path wound around a small man-made lake where ducks swam through the water, creating small ripples in their wake. He was coming close to a place where he would be able to drink from a fountain and take a rest should he choose. He noticed that, like most mornings when he would run here, he wasn't the only one on the path. Some were runners like him. Others had dogs on long leashes and some walked at a quick pace either singly or in pairs. He slowed down at the point he had earlier in the year determined was five miles from the school. He huffed to catch his breath and walked around in a wide circle.

So much had changed in a year. He had never been particularly social. Dean always brought that out of him. He had friends because Dean had friends. He loved their friends… he really did. Jo and Andy had become constant double-date companions since Dean and he made their relationship official. Adam was still stand-offish about them, but he discovered that Dean's brother was a fierce Ally behind the scenes. And, for the most part, those friends they had in school took the change in their relationship status in stride. There were others who acted as though they didn't sit with them at lunch every day in the high school's lunch room; didn't share secrets or abet schemes on weekends with them during those four years together. They either pretended not to recognize the two now-outcast men, ignoring them completely when they ran into familiar faces in town, or openly derided them, calling them names of which the mildest was liar. Lisa was still hurt and angry, stirring up ugly rumors and stories determined to injure Dean. Castiel never really had a strong emotional attachment to these people. He knew them because of Dean. He was always along because Dean wanted him there. He could have done without the hooliganisms of high school, but he went along because of Dean. It wasn't blame that Cas assigned when he thought of these things. He just didn't get all that hurt when the "friends" they used to know shunned him.

Cas inhaled deep cleansing breaths and took note of his heart rate. The only thing he regretted about the times he met old high school "friends" was the impact the exile had on Dean. He remembered the hurt in his eyes when it happened the first time they were out together. He saw the narrowing of Dean's eyes and the rigid strain in his shoulders. Dean shut down that part of himself that would have felt the pain. He gripped Cas' hand that much tighter as they continued to walk on the sidewalk after the unpleasant confrontation. He remembered how hard it was to see Dean clenching his jaw in an attempt to control his emotional responses. Cas smiled. He also remembered how he was able to console and reward Dean for his emotional vulnerability later that night when they were safely ensconced at the apartment.

As he began to stretch out his muscles, he realized how dependent he had been on Dean in high school. All his memories outside of his family were with Dean. He had no friends who weren't introduced through his boyfriend and that had been fine with him at the time. Over the course of the months since they had become a couple, though, all the friends outside of Jo and Andy were Cas'. Joey and Maddie had become frequent companions when Dean came for movie nights in the University town. When they spent time near the dorms instead of going home for the weekend, it was often in the company of friends Cas had made. Once or twice, Dean consented to bring Cas' friends home to stay the weekend, especially when Dean was planning on working any at the garage. Likewise, his friends would keep Dean company and entertained when Cas was occupied with things over the weekends when Dean stayed with him in the dorm. Even his roommate, Luke, liked Dean and would invite him to join him at the pub.

Cas shook his head as he approached the fountain and took a shallow drink to wet his mouth. He began walking the rest of the pathway around the lake. The sun was higher in the sky and there were more people moving about. He knew he had to start packing all his belongings. He had been assured by his friends that he would be too busy with them to focus on that after they were done with their finals. Truthfully, he was eager to return home. It filled him with a previously untouched giddiness at the idea of living with Dean.

He and Dean had talked with his parents and his brother, Gabriel, during Spring Break. They wanted to try living together during the summer. Charles, Cas' dad, was less than thrilled with Cas moving in with Dean. Gabriel, whose apartment it actually was, had no objections. His mother, Ana, wept. All in all, Cas found it easier than he anticipated. Gabriel allowed Cas to move a few boxes in the intervening months since that agreement, but adamantly refused to let him move anything major. A burst of laughter bubbled inside of him at the thought.

He began heading back to the school. He had one last final. He needed to call Dean and discuss the Kali classes over the summer with him. He wanted to speak to Mike before the class began. He knew he would pass this final as Mike had guaranteed to him that he already had enough time logged and skills qualified to pass without the final. But, Cas was particular about the way things should happen. This was the time for the final so the final he shall take.

.

"Hey, Babe!"

Dean's voice was chipper. Cas could almost imagine the gleam in his green eyes and the mischievous smile on his lips. Mmm. Dean's lips. "Hey."

"What's goin' on? How did finals go?"

"They went well. I have one this afternoon, but I have been told I needn't worry about it." Cas explained. "I really have something I need to discuss with you before I go, though."

"Uh-oh… What'd I do this time?"

Cas chuckled and rubbed a towel over his wet hair once more. "It's nothing like that… Um… Mike,.. you remember Mike?"

"The karate guy?"

Cas cringed. "Uh… okay… yeah, the 'karate' guy… well, he and his business partner want to send a few of their students to this… well… this really big expert in… err… 'karate'… actually, the form is called Kali and… well, he wants… that is… _they_ want… to send _me_ this summer."

Cas waited. He could hear Dean move around through the receiver of the phone, but he didn't say anything. He heard a change in the sound quality, the sounds of hydraulic tools became muted as though Dean left the garage to go somewhere quieter. When he heard a door click shut, he figured that Dean had gone to the office.

"What… um… when would you be coming home?" Dean's voice was small. The cheer Cas had heard before was gone.

"Oh! _No!_" Cas rushed to reassure Dean that he had misunderstood. "No, no, no… I mean… I would come _home_… I would just have to drive over to Eudora and take the class. _I'm coming home on Monday_, Dean… I just… I wanted to know what you thought before… you know… before I say 'yes' or 'no'…"

The sigh on the other end of the line sounded like relief. "What do you _want_ to do? I mean, you don't need my permission to take a class, Cas."

Cas smiled. "I know… but, well… I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I also know… you have to work and I would be bored if I had to spend all day pining after you like a puppy."

"Pining, huh?" The smile was back and Cas grinned.

"Like a puppy!" Cas confirmed.

"Well, we can't have that…" Dean's voice went low and husky.

Cas stilled at the sound of it. He dropped heavily on his bed. "What are you doing?"

"Hmmm, nothin'."

"Nothing?" Cas asked though he didn't buy it.

"Unh-uh. Just… Nothin'…" There was a grin in his voice and Cas felt his heart hammer. "What are _you_ doin'?"

Cas' voice hitched slightly but he turned when he heard the key in his door. He grimaced at the intrusion as Luke and his harem entered. He sighed and threw the towel in his hamper. "I gotta go."

"Luke just came in, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Cock blockin' son of a bitch." Dean swore, but Cas knew there was no real heat in it. Dean was at work and wasn't at leisure to do anything over the phone anyway. Cas heard a door open and shut and Bobby's voice chewing Dean out through the line.

"Go. I love you."

"Me, too, Babe. See you in a couple of days."

They both hung up and Cas went to class.

.

"Freedom!" Joey screamed at the top of his lungs from the open patio balcony of the on-campus pub. He received corroboration from the other patrons at the bar when they lifted their own glasses and voices to the sentiment.

The group of his friends and their significant others who were able to join sat at the four-person round tables that were mashed together to accommodate the large party. The waitress arrived as Joey sat down next to Castiel, bringing nachos and chicken wings.

"Grub!" Maddie leaned across the table over her boyfriend to snatch a wing.

"Hey! Get your own! These are mine and Cas'!" Joey complained.

Maddie held the wing up in triumph and stuck it in her mouth. Joey grumbled in good nature and took another draught from his pint.

"So, Cas…" William, a friend of his from last quarter when he took a Survey of Shakespeare class, turned his attention to him. "What does your boyfriend think about you taking Summer classes?"

Maddie looked at Cas. "You're taking classes this summer?"

Cas blushed at the scrutiny. "I'm taking some lessons in a martial art called Kali. But, it's close to home and I can do that while Dean is working."

Maddie considered that for a moment while her boyfriend debated the merits of the Royals' lineup this season with another man whose name Cas couldn't remember. "What are you going to _do_ with all this martial arts training?"

Cas began to tell her about the job as an instruction assistant when the fall classes resumed and how he would be learning a whole new specialized form. Maddie nodded and listened politely but she still didn't look like she understood. "But, what will you _do_ with it, Cas? I mean, it sounds great and fun and 'Yay, you!'… but, what are you going to use this knowledge for ultimately?"

Cas turned his face away from his friend. He had toyed with an idea a few months ago when Mike introduced him to a few friends outside of school. He went to the studio where Mike and Riley taught as part of their business away from the University. They got together with some old military friends once a month and Cas was invited. He had enjoyed talking with Mike and Riley outside of the school. He had been fascinated with the stories told to him by the men he met. They were all veterans, and three of them were stationed at the Army base at Fort Riley. After that meeting, he had been approached by recruiters on campus. He hadn't told his friends. He hadn't told anyone, not even Dean. He really wasn't sure he was interested in signing up. It was an option, though.

He turned to face Maddie again. She was waiting for an answer. "I just don't want to worry about getting attacked again."

It was the truth, as far as it went. He had been interested in this form of exercise even before he went home for Winter Break. He had planned to continue with it even before the attack. He knew that the answer would mollify her and she wouldn't question it further. Her gaze darkened but she let it go. They turned to less angst ridden topics. Kurt was taking Maddie to California to meet his folks. They were going to stay for a month. Joey was going home to visit his mom who was ill. William lived in Kansas City and would be working through the summer. Roger, the man who was speaking to Kurt earlier but whose name Cas had forgotten, was travelling to Europe. He and Cas ended up talking about the trip for the rest of the evening, comparing notes and sharing their favorite places to visit.

.

The morning greeted him with a sticky cotton-feel in his mouth and a slow pulsing pain in his head. He groaned and felt the room tilt. He was face down on his bed and he hadn't changed from his clothes when he returned from the pub. _So glad I live on campus and didn't have to drive or rely on someone else to get home,_ he thought. He swiped his hand over his aching eyes and very slowly raised himself up on his elbows. He tried to peel his eyelids apart and look to his clock for the time. It was way too much effort and he opted to lie back down on his pillow.

The next time he rose, the sun had shifted and was warming his leg through its new location through the window…. _Much later in the day,_ his groggy mind supplied. He opened his eye and glared at the clock which alerted him to the fact that he had slept most of the day away and he was no closer to being packed. His brain felt like it was trying to escape through his eye sockets and he pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to discourage it. It didn't work. He rolled to his side and peered at Luke's side of the room. It was bare… completely empty. He tried to register what that meant for a moment and couldn't put the pieces together. _Never again,_ he thought. _I'll never drink again!_

He managed to slide his legs over to the side of the bed and rise to a somewhat vertical position. He stared at the chest of drawers on the other side of the room. Something nagged his brain, but as it was staging a coup inside his melon, he decided to ignore that for now. He slowly rose from his seated position and wobbled to the door. He was half-way down the hall when it occurred to him that he forgot his kit, so he hobbled along back to his room to get it.

By the time he returned to his room, his mind was less foggy and his energy was somewhat revitalized. His mouth was minty and his head no longer wanted to run away from home because of the abuse he inflicted on it last night. His clothes were clean and he didn't feel the Earth spinning on its axis. All in all, he felt much more human and alert. He sat on his bed and peered at the empty bed and shelves that had, until last night, been occupied by Luke. The smell of his roommate and the girls he had as constant companions still lingered in the room. He wasn't sure he would ever have as cool a roommate as Luke had been. He worried about the next year. His mind jolted.

This was what he wasn't able to grasp when he woke. Luke wasn't coming back to this school. He had been accepted to an East Coast school where he would be finishing his degree and working toward his PhD in Psychology. He wouldn't have Luke as his roommate anymore. He would have to meet someone new in the Fall and that thought shook him. It wasn't that he was particularly attached to Luke, or Luke to him, but his roommate's easy acceptance that "yes, he was gay" and "no, he wasn't going to molest him in his sleep" was taken for granted. Luke knew Cas was gay before Cas was willing to accept it for himself. He had treated him no differently than he would have treated anyone else and Cas had appreciated the courtesy. He wasn't sure he would get that again.

He stared at the stripped bare mattress and let the conclusion settle over him. He hadn't said good-bye. He felt the tears prickle at his eyes and he frowned at himself. He wasn't sad that he didn't get to talk to Luke before he left or that he left and won't be returning. He was sad that it felt like a part of his life was coming to an end. He didn't particularly enjoy the feeling of being bereft of something he hadn't fully appreciated until it was done. But, then… he had a new beginning with Dean. He would have another new beginning in the Fall. He straightened his shoulders and decided to go and find something to eat before he could get started on packing.

Close to the setting of the sun signaling evening, he sat with Joey on the floor sorting through paper and books that he would be packing. Joey had found him in the Student Commons when he was scrounging food. The cafeteria would be closed tomorrow and most of the residents of the dorms were already gone. The voices of quarreling or laughing dorm-mates were hushed and the constant feeling of occupation the house had during the year was missing. The sense of abandonment had made Cas melancholy and introspective. Joey was trying to lighten his mood with jokes and anecdotes. Cas smiled at his friend, but it was no completely shaking Cas from his 'funk'.

"You should really sell some of these back to the bookstore tomorrow." Joey gestured to a growing pile of books.

Cas furrowed his brow as he scanned the titles of the books stacked up next to his friend. "I don't… I like them."

Joey rolled his eyes and turned his body so he faced him. "Cas, you're never going to take 'Introduction to English Literature' again. Why would you keep the textbook?"

Joey watched as the look of unease passed over Cas' features. He knew Cas was loathe to get rid of any books so he decided to take a new approach. "Look, the store sells used books to kids who can't afford new at a lower price… You wouldn't want some poor soul to go without a book because they didn't have enough books sold back, do you?"

He watched the conflict cover his face as Cas tried to make a decision. An idea came to him. "Besides, you probably won't have room in the apartment for ALL the books you want to keep. Why don't you prioritize them according to which ones you are likely to use for your major…"

He knew he had him at that little goad. The look of resolution and the dreamy expression that rolled over him told Joey he had lost Cas for a few minutes. He grinned as Cas piled the whole stack in the corner so he could sell them in the morning.

Sunday morning left Castiel completely alone in his building except for the Resident Assistant. He had hardly seen Karla all year since he and Luke were fairly well behaved. He had seen evidence of her attention when obscenities posted on the walls or doors outside some of the hallmates' rooms were taken down later in the day, or when she was bellowing at them to clean up their disgusting mess in study rooms. She held monthly hall meetings and did daily checks for safety and cleanliness. Today, she had taken down bulletin boards and was busy making sure everyone's rooms were clean upon check out. He managed to catch sight of her in the afternoon curled up in the common room on a couch reading a book. She seemed engrossed and he didn't want to disturb her so he tiptoed past.

He walked around the Residents' Village without a destination. He didn't feel like leaving the school but he was unable to shake the feeling of melancholy that he had been taken with on Saturday. All his friends were gone and he had to wait until the next morning for Dean. Dean told him that Bobby had given him the week off since he had worked so much overtime. Cas had asked him if he wouldn't have preferred the OT pay, but Dean had been adamant in his denial. He would rather have the time he had told him with unequivocal fervor. He hoped that his sadness was just because there was nothing left to do and the sudden transition from pressed in with people everywhere to ghost-town. He hoped it wouldn't last past seeing Dean drive up in the Impala in the morning.

"Hey, Babe…" Dean's voice murmured to him over the phone.

"Hello, Dean." Cas smiled. It was the first smile all day.

"Are you packed up?"

"All ready for you to come and get me. I even have clothes out for tomorrow and that's it!"

Dean chuckled. He was sort of panting like he was walking.

"What are you doing?" Cas asked him.

"Walking…"

"Walking?"

"Yup."

Cas leaned back on his bed. "Where?"

Just then, he heard a tapping at his window. He lifted up onto his knees and peered out into the dusk. There were green eyes smiling back at him.

"Here."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

AN: The story has been updated on AO3 under the same pen name. I will be finishing it there so please, feel free to visit me there. Thank you everyone for following, reading, liking and reviewing my stories! *besitos*

Cas whooped and flung his arms out in his mad dash to meet Dean outside, tossing his phone somewhere in his room. He ran through the hastily opened door and down the hall, through the common meeting room, past a startled Karla, and out the door. He ran and jumped into Dean's waiting arms as his lips sought Dean's, legs encircling his middle and his arms wrapped around Dean's neck. They stood there, Dean holding Cas up with strong, tan arms, his eyes closed enjoying the nearness of his boyfriend as they kissed.

When Cas pulled away to look into Dean's eyes, he saw happiness and amusement in them. Cas yipped in delight and squeezed Dean again, burrowing his face into his shoulder and neck. Dean laughed and tried to adjust himself so he was holding Cas in a more comfortable way.

"Cas, I was really hoping you would show a little enthusiasm at seeing me…" Dean mocked.

"Yeah, well… I was kind of expecting to have the evening to myself. I guess I can share it with you instead."

Dean kissed his nose and tried to lower him onto the sidewalk outside the dorm. Cas tightened his legs and arms so he wouldn't fall.

"Cas. I love you. But, you're really heavy."

Cas pouted and lowered himself. "Are you calling me fat?"

Dean laughed and slung his arm over Cas' shoulder. "Yup."

They walked to the front of the dorm. Dean reached out to open the door and found it was locked. He looked at Cas, noticing Cas' state of undress. He was wearing shorts and no shirt. He was also blushing and his bright blue eyes were wide with embarrassment.

"You left your keys in your room, didn't you?"

Cas nodded. Dean thunked his forehead against the metal of the door. Apparently, Karla took that as a knock and opened it. Cas grinned in sheepish thanks to his RA as he walked passed her with his fingers interlaced with Dean's, dragging him in behind him. Karla smirked and waved as she headed down to her room, leaving the boys to walk in the opposite direction.

Once in his room, Cas leaned his back against Dean as they sat on the bed. Dean held him in the warm embrace within his arms, breathing in the smells and sensations of being so close to him. He had turned on the iPad music app, listening to a playlist of instrumental music. He found a comforting peace just lying in bed with Dean. They had nowhere to be. They had no one to answer to, for tonight at least. They were not likely to have interruptions. It was nice.

"Were you hungry?" Dean asked with a soft whisper.

Cas shook his head. "I would rather just sit here like this."

"Well…" Dean rummaged in his pocket for his phone. "I'm hungry. Pizza okay?"

Cas smiled and nodded, resting his head against Dean's sternum. He was able to hear the deep rumble of Dean speaking on the phone through his chest. He closed his eyes and pressed his ear closer to Dean's skin. He was able to hear the steady beat of his heart, the whooshing bellows of his lungs, feel the growing warmth of his skin. He inhaled the smell of Dean. He smelled of soap and the ever-present ghost of the garage that soap couldn't wash away. He opened his eyes to see the nails and fingers of Dean's hand had the tell-tale marks of a mechanic. No matter what Dean used or how hard he scrubbed, the gear grease, motor oil and gasoline stuck to him. Cas loved it. He loved these little nuances of Dean's life that remained with him no matter where he was.

Dean smiled as he watched Cas turn his hands over in scrutiny. Cas always seemed to enjoy memorizing every little thing about the lines and grooves, the blemishes and scars, the curves and edges of Dean. It pleased him that someone should find him so engrossing.

Twenty minutes later, Dean told Cas he wanted him to watch for the pizza guy while he started loading boxes for the trip in the morning. Dean had made two trips and thanked Cas profusely for selling the books when he was told about the conversation with Joey. Dean mumbled something about getting Joey a gift card or something as he hauled another heavy box out to the parking lot. When he returned from the third trip out, Cas was handing the pizza deliveryman cash and carried the pizza box to his room. Dean followed behind him.

"How did you get so much stuff, Cas?" Dean huffed out as he looked at the three other large boxes and the suitcases still to be loaded into the vehicle.

A bunch of the things that Cas accumulated was from the many outings he had with Dean or other friends and when he went with Mike and Riley to tournaments. He picked up things from the ground, bought things that would remind him of his time, or was given things as promotions or gifts. Cas tended to gather these things like a magpie gathers bits for his nest. Cas smiled and shrugged.

They ate their pizza and Dean gathered Cas to him once he was sated. He pressed his nose into Cas' neck and sighed as if he was a balm, soothing his ills. Cas closed his eyes and listened to the music emanating from his iPad as he relaxed in his boyfriend's arms. The next thing he knew, he was waking to the sounds of birds, the warm beam of sunshine through the window and the soft rise and fall of Dean's chest pillowing his cheek, his breath puffing against his neck.

He didn't move, but enjoyed the scents and sensations of having Dean surround him as he woke. Dean's breathing changed and Cas knew his reverie would soon be over. They would need to finish packing up the car before they went to hunt for breakfast. He felt Dean dip his chin to look at the sleepy form on his chest. Cas felt the inhalation and the chuckle. He felt Dean's hand move to brush the dark hair back from his brow. Cas blinked up into Dean's green eyes and smiled.

"What do you feel like doing today?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N:

**I'd like to thank a few who have PM'd, reviewed or acknowledged the effort of the work put in (even if I am updating more sporadically than I like):**

**Thank you, oiwatchitwatson, cutieepiee, kamja, Ventorum, najs118, HuntingwithAngels, LoveGD, ArtisticNerd, Jamie-Destiel Leigh, silversky13, and Kae Gates for your support.**

**For those who are STILL waiting for Upon My Knees updates... sorry... I am working on it... but, this character that I made up keeps trying to take over. I'm still trying to figure out how to exorcise her from the story or tone down her involvement. I may need to scrap and start over. It was supposed to be about Cas and Dean and others keep getting in the way!**

**Thank you to those who left Kudos, too. I appreciate the acknowledgment of my work.**

Chapter 3

The two friends got dressed and as Cas placed boxes in the common area of the dorm, Dean carried them off to the vehicle. Cas opened the door to take the last box out to the parking lot when Dean arrived.

"This is the last one, I can take it." Cas told him.

Dean shook his head and grabbed for the box. "Go tell the RA that you are ready to leave. Make sure the room is clear. I'll be right back and we can go get food."

Cas grinned and watched as the muscles rippled under Dean's shirt when he hefted the box into his arms and began walking away.

Karla came over to stand next to Cas and watched Dean with the same appreciation he did. He turned to look at the woman and she was unapologetic about the leer she wore when she stared at Dean. She sighed and turned to Cas.

"It really is a shame that two incredibly hot guys like you and your boyfriend are completely off the market for us women…" She shook her head and linked her arm in Cas' as she walked with him to his room. "I've been watching you two since Christmas, and I can't tell you how jealous I am. But…" She looked at Cas in the eyes as they approached his door. "I will miss you next year, Cas. Got into Stanford and I'm moving to Cali."

Cas smiled as he turned to hug her. "You've been a great RA, Karla. Have fun in Cali. You won't have any trouble picking up on a hot guy there."

Karla laughed as she looked at his room and accepted the key he held out to her. "Yeah, but it's California, Cas… More gay guys than straight, I'd wager…"

He laughed this time and waved at her as he made his way out of the hall. "Have a safe summer."

He heard her sigh as he turned toward the common room.

He was walking out to the parking lot, looking around for the Impala when he saw Dean leaning against a tricked out truck. He couldn't believe Dean would give up the Impala for anything. He walked toward him with a sad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The truck was older, though you couldn't tell with all the extras and shiny red paint. The fenders flared slightly to accommodate the nearly too large all-terrain tires and the heavy chrome-plated wheels. The chrome pipe over the front grill housed a wench and flood lights. The windows held a slight tint and the bed was covered with a hard, red tonneau bedcover. The bumpers were diamond cut chrome and there was similar material along the running board step. He looked at the sleek paint and ran his hand over the gleaming metal. He sighed as he turned toward Dean.

Dean's smirk faltered. "Don't you like it?"

Cas sighed. "I liked the Impala better." He admitted. "What made you get a truck instead?"

Dean laughed. "It's not mine, Doofus!"

Dean flipped the keys to him as he walked around to the other side of the truck. He looked at the keys in his hand. He recognized the key rings as his own. He looked back at the truck with a new eye. "Mine?"

Dean climbed into the cab and waited. Cas felt his heart-rate speed up with giddy excitement. He climbed into the driver's seat and smoothed his hand along the dash. Everything seemed familiar and new at once. He felt Dean's eyes on him. When he turned his head, he swallowed a hard lump in his throat at the intense stare from his boyfriend. "What?"

Dean's eyes hardened to agates and his face wasn't at all amused. "If I ever find this truck in the kind of state it was in before, Cas… I swear to…" Dean stopped what he was saying with clenched jaw and tightened fist at his side. "Don't abuse this truck, Cas."

Dean turned his face away. Cas felt suddenly panicked. He didn't know how to read Dean at the moment. He'd never seen him so upset. "Okay." He replied in a small voice.

He didn't put the key in the ignition. They sat in silence for a while as Cas tried to get his body to calm down. He felt like he was vibrating in his seat. When he felt Dean's warm hand fill his cold, clammy one, he looked through tears to see Dean's expression cooled from the heat of a moment ago.

"I took this damn truck apart, Cas. It was a deathtrap. Every new problem I found in it made me angrier and angrier. I can't tell you how freaked out I was. Bobby had to stop me from beating the hell out of it a couple of times. The idea of you driving that piece of crap around nearly broke me… I can't lose you, Cas. Every time I saw this truck sitting in the garage, I thought about you in a ditch somewhere and it _killed_ me! Every. Single. Time. So… you have to promise me… right here, right now… you won't let it get that bad again."

Cas swallowed around the tears and nodded his earnest agreement. Dean studied his blue eyes to be sure he understood. When he saw what he needed to see, his lips twitched and rose at the sides. His eyes softened and revealed crinkles at the corners that Cas loved so much. Cas' own lips began to curve into a smile. He was suddenly excited about driving his truck. He placed the key in the slot and turned. He felt the growl of the engine as much as heard it. His smile grew and the twinkle in his eyes gave Dean the satisfaction that Cas could feel the level of his love for him.

Cas was dumbstruck. He never once imagined that it could be this way outside of the Impala. The only way he ever got to drive the Impala was when Dean was drunk or injured, so the effect was mitigated in those occasions by other emotions. But, this was _his_ truck. He could understand, now, all the hours Dean spent maintaining the Impala and keeping her clean. He could feel that level of commitment in the turn of the key.

He also was able to understand something else.

He knew, for years, that he felt something more than friendship for Dean. In the last ten months, he knew he felt love for him. He knew, feeling the engine rumble, vibrating the beast of a truck around him, that Dean loved him, too. There was a sense of Dean's desire to keep him safe and secure in the solid metal encasing him. There was a fierce protectiveness that Dean expressed in the extras, like the winch and tonneau cover, the side steps and the roar of the engine under the hood. The stick at his knee, shiny chrome along with the other accents on the fire-engine red truck, told him that Dean took care with each detail. It described perfectly how Dean treasured him, cared for him, desired him. The tears in Cas' eyes turned from confusion and concern to love and happiness.

He flung himself across the bench seat to pull Dean into his embrace. He buried his face into Dean's shoulder. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have Dean Winchester. Dean wrapped his arms around him and squeezed. Cas pulled away from him and looked into his face, beaming in his joy.

"I love you!"

Dean looked embarrassed by the outpouring and blushed. He coughed and smiled. "Yeah… well…are we gonna get breakfast or not?"

Cas never took these moments personally. He continued to grin like a loon even as he put the truck in gear.

Over breakfast at a nearby diner, Dean told him about all the features and took pains to describe, in detail, what steps he took to restore his truck. Cas didn't follow any of the technical processes but smiled and nodded with appreciation as he listened. As they finished their meal a thought occurred to Cas.

"Dean?"

Dean looked up from his wallet as he handed a credit card and the bill to the waitress to pay for their food. "Yeah?"

Cas fought a wave of worry. "How… how did you pay for the restoration?"

Dean shrugged. "Some of it was donated by Bobby. I just had to scour the scrap yard for some of it. Some parts that I couldn't find or needed to be completely replaced…" Dean shrugged again.

"How?"

Dean looked at Cas and sighed. "Your family. Gabriel and Kat, mostly. I didn't want to accept the money, Cas. I wanted to do it on my own. But… the engine, bedcover and winch… the radio… some of the things needed to be new."

He signed his name when the waitress returned and he rose with Cas to leave. They walked in silence out to the truck. Cas looked at the object of Dean's months of labor. "I'll pay you… I'll pay everyone back… I promise."

Dean took Cas in his arms. "Just take care of it, Cas."

Cas nodded. He knew he couldn't afford to take for granted the gift of love the truck really was. They rode down the highway, the satellite radio piping 70's rock through speakers above them in a sound bar behind the bench seat. Neither spoke the entire way home. They rolled up to the apartment driveway and Cas parked the truck next to the Impala in a covered carport below the kitchen window of the apartment. Dean jumped out and popped the tonneau. He grabbed a box and began walking toward the stairs. Cas watched him before he smoothed his hand over the dashboard cover and reluctantly opened the door to do the same.

He walked into the silent apartment and headed toward the room he and Dean were meant to share. Dean was just straightening, having put the box in the closet. Cas moved toward him; their eyes met and Dean's fingers brushed Cas' as he removed the box from him.

"Welcome home." Dean whispered.

The returning smile sent a tightening in Dean's groin. Dean turned to put the box down next to its match in the closet when Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's waist. The lingering kiss they shared began tentative and sweet. The push of Dean's solid form against Cas caused him to gasp in reaction. Dean used the opportunity to plunder Cas' mouth with his tongue. Cas could hear the increase in Dean's breathing, the fingers gripping Cas' arms tightened and the kiss turned passionate and deliberate.

Cas pulled away with a reluctant sound and laid his forehead against Dean's shoulder to try and catch his breath.

"Shouldn't… shouldn't we finish bringing stuff in?" Cas gasped out. "Or at least lock the truck?"

He lifted his blue eyes to gaze into Dean's green ones. The question and lust reached out through his expression. His whole body whispered _please_ to Dean. His light touch of fingers to his boyfriend's chest as Dean clasped his upper arms in a tight grip. The soft, warm breath ghosting over Dean's neck and cheek as his lover looked down at him with a heated look of passion. The press of his hardening erection against Dean's body only to find a similar reaction to Cas' proximity.

Dean's words were strangled and forced. "Go. Lock it up. Quick."

Cas turned, and as quickly as he could, he hobbled down the stairs. His pulsing erection caused him pain as he moved. He pulled the tonneau cover down on the bed of his truck and turned the handle to lock it. He climbed the stairs and locked the front door behind him, nearly sprinting, as much as his ache would allow, back to their room. He entered to find Dean standing near the door. He had worn-looking work pants with his button fly undone without a shirt over his bronzed pectoral muscles. Music was playing from the old style boombox in the corner; soft, jazzy instrumentals slithered over and burrowed under their skin to resonate in their blood, shaking them to their bones.

Cas entered the room closing the door behind him and pushing the locking mechanism with a soft click as he approached his lover.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Cas was aware of warmth behind him, the rhythmic rise and fall of Dean's chest as it pressed against his back, the smells of sex and the auto oil and grease that seemed to perpetually linger wherever Dean was, the soft hum of music that still played from the radio in the corner and the buzzing of his cell phone on his nightstand.

He opened his eyes slowly to stare at the annoying technological device. It was the phone that woke him. Dean exhaled an unhappy grumble as he turned his body away. Cas grimaced at the loss of his warmth and willed the buzzing to stop with the sheer effort of his mind. Just before he meant to lift a weary hand to silence the device, the buzzing ceased. Cas let out a relieved breath and closed his eyes. Just as he was nearly back to sleep, the buzzing resumed.

"Cas…" Dean grumbled in a low hoarse voice.

Cas scrambled to answer the noisy phone and saw the caller ID revealed it was his mom.

"Mom?"

"Castiel, I… are you okay? You sound weird…"

Cas grimaced. He smoothed his hair down as if his mother would peer through the invisible waves that enable her to hear him and coughed to clear some of the hoarseness from his voice. "I'm fine, Mom. Did you call a little bit ago?"

"Yes, I did. Why didn't you pick up?"

Cas blew out a breath in embarrassed irritation. "Mom, is something wrong?"

"You got a letter in the mail today."

A letter? There was something not quite right about why a letter should warrant a call to Castiel and he could tell by her voice that she was upset. "You know we'll be there at dinner, Mom."

"Oh. Well… good… but…" He could almost hear her biting her lower lip to avoid saying something.

"Mom?"

Cas acknowledged Dean with a shift of his body as he was drawn to the conversation by Cas' voice and his side of the conversation. He looked over to see green eyes intent on Cas.

"It's just… it has the Police Academy heading on the envelope."

His mother sounded worried. "Police Academy?" He screwed up his face in confusion. Then he laughed, trying to sound casual and unconcerned. "Don't worry. I've been studying Mixed Martial Arts with one of their instructors. It's nothing, Mom. It can wait until I get there."

His mom didn't sound satisfied. "I wouldn't worry, Angel, if we didn't get an envelope from the Office of Navy Affairs as well. You didn't enlist, did you?"

That did surprise Cas. "Open it, Mom. What does it say?"

He heard her rip open the envelope and unfold the paper. He looked over to Dean who sat up and leaned into Cas. Cas knew he was able to follow both sides of the conversation through the small speaker. He put it on speakerphone so they could both hear.

"It says they want to recruit you. It says 'you have been recommended as a possible… you would need to fill out the… Castiel, why are they sending this to you?"

Cas could hear panic in Ana's voice. "Relax, Mom. I didn't apply. I didn't inquire..." He said this as much to Dean as he saw his lover's eyes narrow and the slightly interested but calm appearance melt into tension and suspicion. Cas continued as he knew he was going to have to convince Dean before they left their bed. "It's okay. It's probably just a… a form letter or something."

"Castiel…" she was still unconvinced.

"Mom, I have to unpack and take a shower before we come over tonight. We can talk about it when I get there, okay?"

There was a long pause on the line. He looked into Dean's eyes and willed him to believe his next words even as he said them to his mother. "Mom, it's nothing to worry about. I swear."

"Okay, Angel. We'll see you boys in a little while."

They said their good-byes and Cas never let his gaze leave Dean even as he disconnected the call.

"The Navy?"

Dean's voice had a sharp edge. "No, Dean. I never signed up or inquired. I'm sure it's a mistake, that's all. My instructors have been… for Martial Arts Class. They want me to take this seminar… It has been a lot of fun and I've been spending a lot of time with the instructors and some of their friends. Some of their friends are connected to military and law enforcement. It's nothing, I swear."

Cas took Dean's hand and held him close even as the tension continued to build in Dean's body.

"It's nothing." Cas reiterated.

Cas had continued to study with the MMA instructors at school even after he took all the required units for a general requirement. He became a Teacher's Assistant in the beginning learners' class and also took more of the advanced training outside the school offerings. But it was really no different from other classes in which he discovered both interest and aptitude. Cas found that he also enjoyed a psychology class he had taken for general education credits so much that he considered changing his major. Dean had known this. By the time Spring Break came around, he was more than considering it. He spoke to both his friend, Joey, and to Dean about his ideas. Both seemed supportive, but Joey voiced concerns about what Cas wanted to do with the change when he graduated college. He also was more pragmatic in his argument than Dean, expressing his concern that Cas is likely to take more classes he might find even more interesting in the future and he should remain "undeclared" until he knew for sure.

Dean showed enthusiasm for the change and told Cas that he should "follow his heart or dreams or whatever chicky shit" he wanted that made him happy. Cas smiled at the memory of the conversation that ended with them in bed together.

Cas spent a week at home during Spring Break and counted it too short when he was ready to go back to school at the beginning of April. He decided that he didn't want to take any more classes in his major until he decided what his major should be, but he convinced his Aunt Kat to help him pay for private Martial Arts classes taught by his college instructor outside of school. He met his instructor's business partner, Riley, who also was a fitness instructor for the Police Academy outside of town.

Riley enjoyed sparring with Cas and had invited him to socialize with other Academy instructors from time to time. Castiel found that he had an aptitude for the topics they all discussed during his nights out with the guys from the Academy. His suspicions were confirmed when Riley told him he couldn't believe how quickly he had learned the physical training (better than his students at the Academy). He confided that he had thought Cas had been studying for many years, based on his ability level, instead of months.

Dean was not likely convinced as he left their bed to get a shower, leaving Cas there thinking about what could have happened.

When it came time to leave for the parents' home, Castiel didn't even pout when Dean declared they would take the Impala. He had been the object of the 'Silent Treatment' to some extent since Cas' mom called. He didn't feel like making a letter sent in error a Federal case, but he felt that he didn't want to sit next to a grumpy Dean all night and if driving his Baby would make Dean even a tiny bit less sour, he would forgo taking his newly restored truck this time.

As it happened, everyone was at the house for dinner. Cas' return home from school was, apparently, cause for great celebration. Kat and Oh, Henry were expected as was Gabriel, though Cas hadn't thought to hold his breath in anticipation of seeing him tonight. What was a rather large shock was that Michael, Cas' oldest brother, had flown in from Chicago to visit. Additionally, John and Kate from next door as well as Adam, Dean's step-brother, and Sam, Dean's younger brother, were also expected to join in the dinner.

Cas greeted his aunt and uncle with typical love and attention. Kat squeezed his shoulder and offered a meaningful look of support as Michael entered the room to greet his youngest brother. Michael strode to him with purpose and with no wasted movement. He brought Cas in closer to him for an awkward embrace. Cas tried not to allow the strain he felt overwhelm him. The room swam in awkward tension as John and Kate sat in the living room waiting dinner. Both Cas and Dean greeted Dean's parents with reserve and forced smiles.

Ana was unwilling to allow whatever pressure that was building deter her from conferring her typical adoration on her youngest son. She fidgeted and fussed over him as if she hadn't seen him in a year when it had only been several weeks. She kept trying to get him to snack on vegetables or bread prior to dinner starting. Cas responded that he could wait. He opted, instead, to take up his father's offer to get a drink from the fridge and he, Dean, Sam and Adam all went out onto the back porch to escape the full adults in the living room.

"Does this happen every time you come home?" Adam asked with a gusty sigh.

"No, thank goodness. I think it's because Michael is here." Cas explained.

"Did he decide whether or not he was going to run for whatever post he was thinking this winter?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded. "Kat thinks that since he won this high-profile murder case, he's able to get some name recognition in order to really make a bid for District Attorney. But because he's so young, Oh Henry seems to think it may not do enough to land him the election."

They remained quiet again for a while as they drank their sodas. Cas couldn't help but feel like the connection between all four of them was forced. There was none of the easy comfort they had previously. Even Adam had begun to come around when he was with Cas and Dean. Sam always had felt at ease around them and the tension in his shoulders was obvious.

"What's going on with you guys?" he ventured.

Sam shuffled and Adam straightened. "I turn eighteen next month. I've been thinking…"

Dean interrupted. "No, Adam! We've talked about this… all of us… you need to finish school and get your certs. This isn't the time for you to be heading off and doing something… you know what? No. We're not talking about this here. Cas just got home and he doesn't need our family dramas interfering with…"

"…with my family drama?" Cas offered with a smile.

Dean nodded as he fought to restrain a smirk as he agreed. "Right. With his family drama."

At that moment there arose a cacophony of sound inside as well as raised voices. "Speaking of family drama," Castiel said. "I think Gabriel arrived."

All four of them smiled genuine smiles and turned to head back inside. What they walked in on was akin to an old western stand-off. A slim woman with mocha-colored skin and jet black hair stood ramrod straight toe to toe with Michael, Gabriel glaring over her shoulder at his older brother. Ana, Kat and Oh Henry were standing behind Michael with shock written all over their faces and John, Charles and Kate were standing with anger and practically vibrated with unease. Cas didn't know what they were walking in on, but it was clearly not good.

"Perhaps, this is neither the time nor the place," Kali was saying when she saw the boys enter. "Perhaps this is a discussion best had when there aren't so many tempers to interfere with what you _meant_ to say." She stared pointedly at Michael.

Michael swept his glance slowly through the room and came to rest on Cas and Dean at the back door. His eyes narrowed the smallest bit, but it was enough. Cas hadn't had Gabriel or Michael around much as he was growing up, but they were still his brothers. He knew the look he received. It was the look he hoped to never earn as he worked hard to get through coursework in high school. It was the look he earned when Michael found out Cas would have to repeat the eighth grade. It was the look he earned whenever he saw Cas and Dean together as children. The look he received now, Cas was sure, was unearned on his part. He still felt the tremor of trepidation that coursed through him. He wrapped his arms around his middle and lowered his eyes to the ground. When he heard a growl from Dean next to him, he looked up sharply to see fire in his boyfriend's green eyes that matched the light in Gabriel's amber and Kali's black eyes. That was when he knew…

His family was rallying….

…Against Michael. They were standing up to his oldest brother on his behalf. He didn't know why Michael suddenly decided that Cas was unworthy of the loyalty displayed by the family in the living room. It was his worst nightmare from before he came out to his family. This was the first opportunity that Cas had of seeing his brother since Winter Break from school when he came out. He had no idea that Michael had expressed disapproval about what everyone else seemed to accept. Hell, even John frickin' Winchester was coming around.

His gaze went into the living room to see what, if any, reaction was coming from the Winchester patriarch. Like Dean, John tended to hide most of his emotions behind a poker face of truly epic proportions. Cas knew what to look for, though. He saw the slight widening of John's pupils, even from this distance. He saw the ticking of his jaw as he clenched his teeth in anger. He saw the slight movement forward onto the balls of his feet. Several cues John displayed were things he had learned from MMA, but others had been observed while growing up. He had watched Dean use these same preparations right before a fight.

"Michael," Cas practically whispered, "May I speak with you out here on the patio?"

They stared at each other for several long moments before Michae dipped his head once and began to walk toward the door. Dean drew up behind Cas in what Cas thought was a defensive position. Cas laid a flat hand across Dean's chest. He leaned forward to whisper in Dean's ear.

"I need you to calm Gabriel and your dad. I'll talk to Michael and see if we can't salvage the evening."

"The hell you will!" Dean exploded.

Cas smiled and rubbed his hand from the center of Dean's chest over to slide down his arm and grasp his hand. He whispered to his lover. "Please, Dean. I'll be fine. He's my brother… and he's running for public office. He's not going to start a fight with me. I'm safe. Go calm down those two hot heads."

It seemed to take forever as Dean warred with two opposing desires; one to go stand in solidarity against the oldest brother and one to do as Cas so sweetly requested. Cas' entreaty won and Dean leaned in to rest his forehead against Cas' before he turned to talk to his roommate and his father. Sam followed behind him but Adam remained near the back door. Cas tilted his head in question as he approached, but Adam folded his arms over his chest and looked as menacing as possible. His body language all but screamed, "Go ahead. I got your back". Cas smiled at such a show of support. He opened the door and walked into the darkness to have a long overdue conversation with his brother.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

**The United States Supreme Court will decide this week if a California ban on Same Sex marriage (Prop 8) and whether the Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA) that prohibits the Federal government from recognizing Same Sex Marriages will be Constitutional or not.**

**It may be hubris on my part to suggest my writing is worthy of it, but still.. I dedicate this chapter to the hope of Marriage Equality.**

Chapter 5

Cas remembered a time when he would do anything to please Michael. In some ways, his oldest brother's approval had meant more to him growing up than even his parents' had. He wondered if whatever he was doing at any given time would be rewarded with a statement of praise or a look of compliment when Michael found out. Castiel was always quiet growing up and when Michael was at home, he would hide behind the furniture to study his oldest brother. He remembered a time that Michael was home for several weeks when Cas was in elementary school. He remembered that he couldn't have been older than ten or eleven. He hid behind the sofa to watch his brother speaking on the phone to someone from college. He had just started law school at the time. Cas remembers looking from behind the furniture at his brother who stood so tall and straight. His hands were large and his frame was strong. Cas had been fascinated with Greek and Roman mythology since hearing about them in school and he remembered thinking how much like Hercules his brother seemed.

Michael seemed invincible. He was an untouchable force. Cas realized as they stood out on the patio just how far his brother was falling in his estimation.

"I looked up to you since I was very small." Cas began in a soft almost reverential whisper. "I aspired to something like what I imagined you were."

"What happened to make you fall so short?" Michael asked in the self-assured voice Cas always used to stand up to listen when he heard. It made his body shake.

"I didn't, brother… you did."

Michael stopped and turned to look at Cas. Cas stood tall and strong. He held his hands at his side and he knew. He needed to do this. He needed to be the creature in his imagination that he had believed his brother to be. His chin lifted just shy of belligerence. His eyes speared his brother in place. Michael's eyes assessed his little brother in the way he did everything. Cas wasn't worried about being found lacking. He took heart in the scene he had walked in on earlier this evening. There was a room full of people willing to stand up to Michael for him. But, what he really needed to do was stand up for himself. He had grown in confidence over the course of the months since he went off to school. He gained even more since he and Dean came out and joined together.

"Oh?" Michael asked in a way Cas assumed helped him win cases. He was waiting for a criminal to incriminate himself. He waited for Cas to skewer himself against Michael's argument, whatever it would be.

Cas remained quiet for a long time. Neither man shuffled or shifted. They remained still and straight and tall. Michael finally broke the silence. "You don't think that what you are doing is a fall from grace, Castiel?"

Cas smiled. "I am loved, Michael. I have the love of our parents, of our aunt and uncle… I have the love of friends and of Gabriel… I have the love of a good man and his brothers… I think that makes me soar, brother. That love gives me wings."

Michael remained silent for several moments before he commented, "Very poetic." Michael moved from where he stood in the middle of the patio and leaned against the post by the steps down into the garden. "Still… you are in error."

"In whose estimation?"

"God's"

Cas considered this for a moment. "So… you have God on your speed dial, do you?" Cas quipped.

"This is not a joke, Castiel. You will damn your eternal soul."

Cas shook his head. "I know it's not a joke, Michael. I wish it were. It's so interesting to me that the brother I looked up to as a kid could be replaced in my estimation by the one who rarely took anything seriously. It isn't a joke to think that the one who fights for what's right is the very one who would condemn me for the way I love or for whom I love while the one who set pipe bombs in the boys' bathroom at school in order to get out of a test for which he never studied is the one ready to stand in my defense." Cas looked with a sad heart at his brother. "You were the one I thought would slay all the demons who might hurt me, Michael. You were the epitome of all that I believed to be good and just. Now, I'm not sure if you're just a bigot or if I should give you time to re-evaluate your position…"

Michael stared at Cas in the growing darkness and his eyes glinted from the splinter of light streaming from the nearby window. Cas was fully illuminated as he stood near the door to the kitchen, it's full window glowing in the fluorescence of the kitchen lights. Cas was sure of himself. He reached into himself and pulled all the memories that led to his coming out to his family and friends. He pulled the anxiety he had felt as well as the triumph and elation that filled him when he and Dean sat on the dirt in front of the Impala looking out over the city from the Bluff. He let the warmth of his brother, Gabriel, teasing him about Chihuahuas and twisty-twined brotherly behaviors. The laughter of Jo and Andy when Dean and he had gone with their friends to dinner that first night filled him with the assurance that he didn't need Michael's approval. He radiated that confidence at his brother. He infused his whole being with purpose so his brother would read it in every movement, every turn, every glance.

Michael huffed. "It's wrong, Castiel."

Cas shrugged. "It's wrong for you, Michael. It has been nothing but right for Dean and I." He moved closer. "I'm not asking for your approval, brother. I'm not even asking for your acceptance. Frankly, I don't care if I never get either. You are who you are and you live far enough away that I won't have to deal with it very often, if at all. I can afford to be choosy here. It will hurt, of course… you're my brother by blood and I do love you, no matter what else… but, I can stand to not have people in my life who will hurt me or the ones I love. I can choose to add people who don't share our blood but who do share their love with me into my family and I can cast out those who don't really want me anyway."

Castiel turned to open the door behind him. "It really, then, becomes your choice, brother. You can keep a civil tongue and keep your scathing intolerance to yourself while you're visiting, you can choose to not visit when you know I'll be here, or you can choose to end up with a fist in your face… Make no mistake… there are people in that room who don't give a rat's ass who you are or what you're capable of doing to them in the courts, who would happily put their fists down your throat and pull out your still beating heart. Luckily," Cas turned to flash him a grin, "Luckily for you, they love me so much that they won't until they can't stand your rudeness any longer. Maybe, you could sit down with John, you know, when he's not ready to kill you with his stare, and ask him what turned him around."

Michael was silent for only a beat before Cas opened the door. "Dean has been a bad influence on you, Castiel. You were never so discourteous or brazen…"

"Dean Winchester saved me."

With that, Castiel walked through the opened door, closing it behind him, leaving his brother in the dark.


End file.
